Diva Moment

After seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, he immediately wanted to do surgery to unblock both of my blocked tubes, remove a septum in my uterus and remove more scar tissue/endometriosis.  This would be my second surgery during this whole infertility mess.  I decided to do the surgery over spring break so that I didn't have to take time off work...and because I was keeping it a secret from most. 

This would be the 6th surgery I have had in my life.  All 5 others had been at a suburban hospital which I would compare to the Taj Mahal of hospitals.  This surgery would be at an urban hospital.  I didn't mind at all until I showed up the morning of my surgery.  I was put in a room WITH another patient.  They were talking about being at the bar all night and the dad was drunk, it was a mess.  I complained to my husband that I have like the best insurance in the world, want my own room, I don't belong here.  So, so DIVA.  Don't judge, I was about to have surgery and thoughts cannot be contained.  The nurse could sense this and was so, so nice.  She promised me a private room after surgery without me even asking.

This hospital was so different.  They didn't give me my happy meds before being wheeled to surgery.  At the other hospital, I have no memory of ever being wheeled into surgery because of the happy meds.  This time they wheeled me away from my husband with me being perfectly lucent.  So, inevitably, I cried and cried the whole way to the operating room.  The nurses were so nice though and outside the door of the operating room, gave me my happy meds, held my hand, and assured me how great my doctor is, how he worked miracles and how soon it would be that I would be out of it.

Surgery lasted three hours.  I woke up in the recovery area.  I was in so much pain and was given lots of pain meds, so I was pretty much out of it.  Then my bed was getting bumped and shoved.  I was more than annoyed.  Then I heard yelling and nurses pushing my bed over and doctors being called over.  The guy next to me was yelling that the medical staff was trying to kill him.  I was back to crying.  Come to find out, this guy was high as a kite, shot himself in the arm, and was now pulling out his intubation tube.  Diva moment #2, get me the heck to my private room. 

Everything after this I have no idea.  I don't know if I ever made it to a private room.  I don't think I ever talked to my doctor.  I don't know how I got in the car and I don't remember getting home.  I did later learn, after those drugs wore off a bit, that the surgery went great.  Both my tubes were now clear, they removed 3 uterine polyps, lots of scar tissue, cut out the septum in my uterus and I left the hospital with a lovely balloon holding my newly shaped uterus in place with a catheter taped to my thigh leaking blood into a maxipad also taped to my thigh.  What a joy the next week would be!

Hope

Many know, and many do not know, what I have done in the past two years to have a first child with my husband.  For the first year, I kept my infertility a secret from most and in the past year I have begun to open up and tell little by little our plight.  Here is a glimpse at what we have done so far to get pregnant.  Enjoy!

The path we have taken:

November (Thanksgiving Day) 2008 ~ Miscarriage.  :(

December 2008 ~ We optimistically begin trying to get pregnant.

December 2008 to June 2009 ~ We unsuccessfully try to get pregnant.

June 2009 ~ Told that I was infertile.  Not ovulating.

August 2009 ~ Started Clomid with HCG trigger shot.

August 2009 to January 2010 ~ Still not pregnant despite many months of high dosages of Clomid.

January 2010 ~ Post Coital Exam shows my cervical mucous is killing sperm.

January 2010 ~ Laparoscopic Surgery.  Endometriosis, cysts and adhesions removed.  Also have Pelvic Inflamatory Disease (caused by sepsis occuring due to appendicitis).

February 2010 ~ Post Coital Exam #2 (after interventions to keep my cervical mucous from killing sperm).  All sperm dead...still!!!!  Boohoo!

March 2010 ~ Hysterosalpingogram (HSG).  Test to determine if fallopian tubes are blocked...my test showed 100% blockage in both tubes.  Lovely.  No way egg could have ever made it to uterus.

April 2010 ~ First visit with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (infertility specialist).  Two weeks later, I was having another Laparoscopy and a Hysteroscopy.  Unblocked both tubes, removed more adhesions, removed 3 uterine polyps, removed the septum in my misshapen uterus and inserted a balloon to reshape my uterus.  Balloon removed a week after surgery.  Three hours of surgery and I looked good inside. 

August 2010 ~ Intrauterine Insemination (IUI or artificial insemination).  Nine big, beautiful eggs.  Didn't work.  :(

November 2010 ~ In Vitro Fertilization.  Retrieved 17 eggs, 13 fertilized, 3 were put back in, none made it to freezing and none took.  BIG FAT NEGATIVE! 

January 2011 ~ Follow up with RE (reproductive endocrinologist).  Hubby sent to have chromosomal testing.  I am having another HSG (to see if my tubes have closed again) next month.  Dr. is extremely optimistic.  We shall see.

So, there you have the cliff's notes of our last two years.  As you can imagine, the physical and emotional strain of my infertility has been dificult to say the least.  I have pushed my body to it's limit and thus far have nothing but scars to show for it.

I have a love for our future child that I would move mountains for.  I have said from the beginning that I would do everything I possibly could to get pregnant.  I would have no regrets and no "what ifs?". 

"Never let go of hope.  One day you will see that it all has finally come together.  What you have always wished for has finally come to be.   You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself...'How did I get through all of that?'"  -Unknown

Through this blog, I will detail the above procedures and then add as we find out our future.